Marketing Explained

A Professor at one of the IIMs
was explaining marketing concepts to the Students:

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: "I am very rich.
"Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing"



2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a
gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and
pointing at you says: "He's very rich.
"Marry him." -That's Advertising"

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and get her telephone number. The next day, you
call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich.
"Marry me - That's Telemarketing"

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up
and straighten your tie, you
walk up to her and pour
her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her,
pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and
then say:"By the way, I'm rich. Will you
"Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations"

 

 

 

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks
up to you and says:"You are very rich!
"Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition"

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you
a nice hard slap on your face. -
"That's Customer Feedback"

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: "I am very
rich. Marry me!" And she
introduces you to her husband. -
"That's demand and supply gap"

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a
party. You go up to
her and before you say anything, another person come
and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she
goes with him -
"That's competition eating into your market share"



9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your
wife arrives. -
"That's restriction for entering new markets"

 

Indian way of doing things

THE INDIAN WAY OF
DOING THINGS!



Three contractors. .
. . . .one from India, another from Germany
and the third from England are bidding to repair the White House
fence.

They go with a White House official to examine the fence.



The English contractor takes out a tape measure and
does some measuring, then works on some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will cost $ 900- $ 400 for materials, $ 400 for labour and $ 100 profit for me."




The German contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $ 700 . . . .$ 300 for
materials, $300 for my crew and $ 100 profit for me."



The Indian contractor doesn't measure or do any figuring,
but leans over to the White House official and whispers: " $
2,700. "



The official incredulously says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"



"Easy,"
the Indian explains, "$
1,000 for you, $ 1,000 for me and we hire the guy from Germany to do the work!"